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the dogs are cuddling <3

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JJ looks so cozy watching Survivor over there in his bed. He’s wrapped in a blanket so tight that I can only see his muzzle poking out of it and his eyes are transfixed on the TV. He’s absentmindedly stretching a thing of slime in his paws. I can see his tail wagging just by the movement of the blanket.

“Hey!” I call out from the kitchen, putting my dishes in the sink. “Can I join you in there?”

“You wanna cuddle?” he asks.

“Fuck yeah.”

He opens the blanket for me. “Come on over.”

I plop myself down next to him and put my arm around him. We lean on a big stack of his pillows and cuddle. We’re not yet at that place where our limbs are intertwined and our fur is merging and you can’t tell where I begin and he ends, but our bare skin is touching and it is so lovely. He leans his head on my shoulder.

“What’s happening right now?”

“That guy,” he points, “Has an immunity idol, and everyone is really mad at him, so we’re going to see what happens at tonight’s elimination.”

“Awesome.”

We sit and watch the rest of the episode. I don’t know what season we’re in – I know the first season pretty well at this point, as well as the most recent one, but they made like 40 something seasons of this show and I do not know all of them. JJ knows every single contestant, when they were eliminated, and 10 fun facts about each one, but he stays quiet so I can enjoy it.

I’m actually getting pretty into the episode when I notice that JJ isn’t looking at the screen anymore, and if there’s anything I know about JJ, it’s that he can watch an entire season of Survivor without blinking. I rub the fur on his tail. “What’s up, dude?”

“Oh, uh. Nothing.”

“You sure?”

He sticks his face down. “I’m just, uh. Happy that we’re cuddling.”

“Happy?”

He covers his muzzle with his paw. “Whatever.”

“Can we pause for a second?”

“Yeah, sure.”

He pauses the show. All I do is give him a face.

“I don’t think you understand how strong my libido is,” he says.

“I know you’re hard right now.”

“Oh, shut up,” he giggles. Most likely true.

I ruffle the fur on the top of his head. “You want me to dial it back?”

“Mmmmm. I dunno. No.” He smiles. “I like it.”

“What were you saying? About your super strong libido?”

“Ugh. I mean, I guess you do know a little bit about it.”

“No, no, now I wanna know.”

“I jerk off three times a day.”

“What?” I pull my arm off of him and open my mouth, faux-shocked. “You what?”

“I dunno. Yeah.”

“I’ve had, like, days in high school where I was bored enough to do that, but every day?”

He smiles. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m telling you.”

“Like, you have to jerk off three times a day?”

“I mean, no one has to jerk off–”

“In today’s America…”

“But. I just get so horny, you know?”

“Aw, dude,” I grin and ruffle his head again. I can now identify the emotion I was feeling during all of those horny conversations we used to have, which is pure adoration. He is the cutest fucking dog I have ever met. “Dude.”

“Like I wake up every day with a raging boner.”

“I know that one full well.”

“And I have to deal with it before I can do anything else.”

“That’s why you wake up before me.” I think about those days I’d be sleeping on his floor and he’d get these awful boners about 10 minutes before he woke up, like clockwork. Maybe it’s good he wake up first now – the world isn’t ready for how hard is dick is in the morning. “Coooool.”

“Yeah. And, well, at least before we moved in together, I’d jerk off every day after work.”

“Okay, well that one makes perfect sense.”

“You think?”

“You build up like… all this…” I laugh. “Energy? I get it. I do that sometimes. There’s just this perfect combination of, you know, it’s midday and the sun is streaming through the windows and I’m all sore and laying on the couch and, oh, look at that, my cock’s hard, might as well jerk off now.”

“Yeah. That’s it exactly. And then, okay, I also have to jerk off to go to bed. It’s just like. Okay, well, you know that sheep plush I have?”

I pick it up. I’ve seen exactly what he’s done to this thing. “Yes.”

“I have this routine I do… I’ve done it through high school. It’s like the only way I can go to sleep. I don’t know what it is about it but my brain will not turn off until I do it.”

“What is it?”

“Well, I brush my teeth and I brush my sheep’s teeth too. That’s the only way I remember to do it. It’s…” Fucking adorable? He scratches his head in embarrassment. I just smile back at him. “It’s what I do. And after that I get nice and stoned. Lol. No matter what, even if I haven’t smoked at all that day, I always do it before bed. And, uh, I kiss my sheep plush on the head and wish it good night.”

“You say all of this like we don’t live in the same room and I don’t hear you do it every night.”

“Well, that’s not the end of it.”

“What, you masturbate?”

He smiles. “Yeah.”

“I hear you do that too.”

“What?”

“You moan, dude.”

“Oh my god, what?” He straightens out, alarmed. “What?”

“I think you must be too high to notice but you moan. Not loudly but I can hear it. And then you fall asleep like a minute later and you start snoring.”

“Oh my god, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t mind. Guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do, right?”

He stares down. “Oh my god.”

“I know your masturbation schedule like the back of my hand.”

JJ giggles. “Oh, wow. Okay. Sorry.”

“I really don’t mind. Can you hear me jerking off?”

“No!”

“Okay, so you’re the loud one. Glad we cleared that up.” I put my arm back around him and get us back to cuddling. “You have to do all that to sleep?”

“Yeah.”

“What about all those times we hung out?”

“I’d have to sleeping pill myself, or else I’d just think about you all night.”

“Aww.”

“Ugh, and then I’d get these nasty wet dreams. I get wet dreams when I don’t jerk off, you know.”

“Really? About me?”

“About, uh…” He thinks about that for a second. “About you, once. I don’t really remember it. About East sometimes… or about just random people. Ramone a few times. That was a nasty era.”

“Woah. Like every time?”

“Pretty much.”

“What medication do you take again for your ADHD?”

He laughs. “You think this is a medication thing?”

“You are one horny horny dog is what I think.”

“Vyvanse.”

I find my phone and look up “vyvanse” and “hypersexuality” and sure enough results come up. “Dude, look at this.”

He reads my screen. “Woah. Woah.”

“And it’s also just linked to ADHD in general.”

“Am I just horny all the time because of my ADHD?”

I snicker. “Is that bad?”

“Wow. First I failed all of my classes in high school and now I’m horny all the time.”

“That’s right!”

We become silent for a moment. I look over at JJ and I can tell there are wheels spinning in his head.

“What’s up, dude?”

“Uh. Does it bother you that… we haven’t had sex?”

That’s a question. “We’ve been dating for a week,” I say, although truthfully I would have sex right now if he wanted to.

“But like. I don’t know, if I’m so sexual. Does that make sense?”

“Hm… do you want to talk about having sex, and maybe that’ll help clear this up?”

He nods.

“What are you thinking, dude?”

“Um. Um. Okay.” He swallows. “I feel like there is so much tension… between us…”

I giggle. “Yeah. Agreed.”

“And I’m… I don’t think… I feel bad that I’m putting it off, I guess, when there’s so many times that like… it could have happened, I guess. I guess I’m a little scared.”

“Why are you scared?”

“Because I love you, and… I’m worried things could change if we have sex. Like that things will be different.”

“Like I wouldn’t like you anymore?”

“Um… that we wouldn’t be… like guys anymore. Like, we’d be boyfriends. That makes no sense.”

“I think I get it. You’re worried about our relationship transitioning into something that it wasn’t originally.”

“Yeah. Yeah. I think that’s a good way of describing it.”

I smile. “Dude. That’s not going to happen.”

“Why not?”

“Uh, we just had a non-sexual conversation about how strong your libido is. That is like, the exact kind of thing we were talking about before. You brought up wet dreams and I was about to say something before I remembered I told you something like it that day I was sleeping on your floor for the first time. We’re still two dogs. Just dating now.”

He nuzzles his head into my shoulder. “You’re right.”

“Cool. Cool.”

“Um. Okay. Maybe can I suggest something?”

“Of course!”

“Can we pick a day to… have sex?”

I blush. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, never mind. Sorry.”

“No, I was just surprised. Dude. Awesome. Yes.”

He smiles sheepishly. “I just think it would be good for my brain. To know it’s happening, you know?”

“You do realize…” I want to tell him that we are going to spend the entire day being so horny and so nervous, but I don’t want to back out on the offer now. “That sounds awesome. That sounds so awesome.”

“Umm… Saturday, maybe? So we don’t have work?”

“Yeah? You wanna? And you can say no at any time if you don’t want to?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Okay. It’s a deal.” I grin. “You wanna finish this episode, dude?”

“And the rest of the season?”

“We’ll see what we get to.”
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